That's what I get for sending everyone off to look at Twitter.

I can wait for the Storify "good bits version". Because there's totally going to be one.

Like the one for #JunkOff twitter tag, where biologists were sharing photos of animal penises. (probably NSFW. Also hilarious)

Wow. Whoa.Wow. Whoa.
Conditioner croaked Candidates cooked
Trump Trump Trump Trump

Rally and revel Really Rich am I
Mexican mafia border Guards Grumble
Trump Trump Trump Trump

Chinese Communists Capitalize our Capital
Taxes Taxes Tariffs Tariffs
Trump Trump Trump Trump

Rinse Repeat Repeat Rinse
Scary Scary Something Silly
Trump Trump Trump Trump

Eight Billion Bucks Listings are Listed
Evanka Evanka
Trump Trump Trump Trump

Twitter? What Twitter? I read "a couple of excellent mysteries starring John Gower" and headed straight to Amazon!

Then I went to Twitter.

I guess Kevin and I were ahead of the curve.

Ill-met ink-slanderers, twisters of tongue-deeds,
Makers of murder on well-spoken words!
Came I with cause to the allthing of thane-folk
Spoke with assurance, though giving grim greeting,
Simple I said it, but scribes mote it madness,
Twisting and torturing sooth that I said.

This: That we witter while outlaws outrage us;
Criminals creep from the Romanish realm,
Sons of the south, sent by stealth, spring upon us,
Carrying crime as corrupting contagion,
Reiving and rapine, all brought as their bane.
Flung from their families, for reason of foulness.
Cast out by kindred, they break through our borders.

Bare are our boundaries, fenceless, unfortified,
Flooded our frontiers, our sentinels sleep.
Few of the foreign are worthy of welcome,
Most only merit removal and wrath.
Their chieftains are clever, concealing their cunning,
Hatred and handclasps they offer as one.
Such neighbors give need to the noblest of nations
For driving of direst and boldest of bargains;
My weird is to weave them. And weave them I will.

Borders I’ll build that will balk any breaker,
No less than lawful let in, by my leave.
Fortified frontiers, with watch wide-waking,
Warders and walls, just like a jail.

Fools in their folly speak words out of weakness,
Skaldir that slander me, lays that do libel,
Fell are my foemen, yet poor is their profit,
And lawsuits are laid for the breaking of bond.

So I have spoken, words wrought of wisdom,
Saying them so is the granting of greatness.
In all the nation, none shall negate them:
All of the aesir esteem my endeavor.

Dave, that is splendid, and far, far better than he deserves.

Dave Luckett #6: Indeed, impressive, and unnerving in that his position actually makes sense in genre... Indeed, many of our modern troubles come from leaders who think like tribal chieftans.

Dave Luckett@6: That's lovely; and, as David Harmon says, unnerving.

:: bows in awe at Dave Luckett's skaldic skills ::

Dave @6: I thought that was good, until I read it aloud to my partner. Then I thought it was great. Bravo!

Also bows in awe...

*claps*

Lauding Luckett, bright-witted bard!

I sincerely hope that someone has alerted the #BeowulfTrump followers to the existence of Dave Luckett's astonishing contribution. I'm in awe.

Luckett Loremaster, Weaver of wonders!

lorax at #15: One Susannah Davis has done so.

Does this make Megyn Kelly Grendel?

I am embarrassed. It was done in haste, and there's bits I would fix up. I'm glad it was enjoyed. What else is it for?

Thank you all. Made my week.

And Megyn Kelly as Grendel is an interesting idea...

my god, Dave, that's amazing.

Dave Luckett @6: That's awesome!

Dave Luckett #6:

Well may we say, of Trump the Clueless,
He was not worthy of such a scop.

Dave Luckett: PUBLICATION-WORTHY. Fantastic sneaky use of "witter." I'd say send it to the New Yorker, but they have no taste (having rejected at least 5 submissions.) But man, you should send that SOMEWHERE that pays.

Greg M @ 24:

Thank you. It's free verse, though.

Fragano, thank you. Your opinion of verse means a great deal.

*raises arms, bows in Dave Luckett's general direction*

"We are not worthy..."

That's the best laugh I've had all day!

Thank you, thank you, Dave Luckett.

This thread has been a joy and consolation in what might otherwise have been a very depressing week.

Dave, that was outstanding. Very sorry I didn't notice it earlier!

Great god, Dave, that's most impressive.

#30 is a first-time (by VAB) poster with a suspiciously commercial link in their username.

OTOH it's also a relevant comment, including correct name, about a previous item that is indeed most impressive. Might be a driveby but I think it gets the benefit of the doubt.