That's what happens when you think you're sixty feet high.

First!

Or maybe his head was just up in the clouds again.

A good example of why only people with the appropriate workplace hazard training should be allowed on the apron.

Who let him loose in the woodworking shop anyway?

Hmmm... That creature in the Twilight Zone episode "Nightmare at 30,000 Feet" did look like McCain.

Well if he gets "elected" (Ghu forbid) at least the comedy writers will only have to refinish old Gerald Ford jokes.

But the resurgence of Chevy Chase is too high a price to pay!

This - and his election - is likely to hurt us more than it hurts him.

Did he throw a screaming temper tantrum at the aircraft?

I got my head checked
By a jumbo jet
It wasnt easy
But nothing is, no

Dammit, Charlie preempted my snark! Stupid time zones. Now all I'm left with is some lame riff on inclined planes or something, and I'll tell you what, I just can't work under these conditions.

I was going to say, "Well, no, all he'd have to do is not duck when the flaps came down during pre-flight." But the sorts of planes with wings high enough to walk under but low enough that one would need to duck to do so just don't seem quite important enough for the McCain's presumed ego.

Although the image of him trying to squeeze into a C-152 makes me laugh.

Oh, come on, Michael. You could have said "Perhaps a misguided attempt to cure him of being a blockhead?" or "So that explains why he's so flat," or "Maybe he was indulging in his favorite vise."

It's not from being whacked by a frying pan?

Dunno if it's still true, but there used to be signs on British roads outside airfields: "Beware - low-flying aircraft".

What were you meant to do - take your hat off?

Xopher @ 11... And we all saw it happen.

There's only one choice for McCain's running mate now:

Hervé Villechaize.

Oh, wait.

The planes in Spain fall mainly on McCain?

13: Flanders and Swann, I believe...

What would happen if McCain suddenly became unable to run, at this point? Another set of Republican primaries? Or would the nomination go to one of the runner-up candidates from the last round?

JOel Polowin (18): There's no official nominee yet, so presumably the delegates would choose one at the Republican convention. (For a fun look at what could happen if the wrong person dies later in the election cycle, read The People's Choice by Jeff Greenfield.)

We all know the drill, press on and find more woodworking puns, nose to the grindstone, and appeals to the lathe of heaven that the mills of the gods might settle for a coarser fate.

I'll not be routed; no I shall finish with pride, and gloss over the imperfections of my arguments.

I think I'll file all these high-flying puns for later consideration.

McCain's mishaps dovetail nicely with some of his contradictory claims. Dado-n't with his wish to be seen as a polished statesman.

It's a thin veneer of cvility we present, when we would far rather be lumbering about.

Charlie Stross #4: Perhaps he confused it with a spokeshave.

I confess, you've quite turned my head.

So may we assume, Charlie, that you haven't been put out of joint?

So nice to see master craftspeople hammering out such fine finished work. Gems, even.

So is there any word on his prospective cabinet? Changes to any of the bureaus? It would be nice to know in advance who's likely to be shelved...

And who will be his dresser?

I think that by now we'll got McCain's true self pegged down.

I would have described McCain as a chiseler, myself.

Armoire confused than ever.

Do you think the nomination fights will go to the mattresses?

And who would he choose to chair the Joint Chiefs? He'd better not screw up.

McCain will be perfect material for the party platform.

Well, it's true that McCain's a tool. Lathe me tell you, you woodn't know it to see him -- and hew else would say so? -- but his anger can be cutting. It's plane to see he'd route an enemy, but anybody who's read his circular saw that.

That last one's even making me wince. I'm quitting while I'm ahead. Thanks for the pep talk, Xopher. I'll file it away for later.

I'm getting board. Can't put it planer than that.

Stefan Jones, that was particularly flat.

McCain will respond to this with some old saw, I've no doubt.

Well, now it awl adze up.

McCain can't win. The stakes are too high.

> Presumably it was flying unusually low.

They're pesky things on the ground too:

http://www.aviationforum.org/forums/attachment.php?s=dbd10652099c0af000521c7c3b991e11&postid=65484

McCain is putting quite a finish to his run for the nomination. Being as he used to fly planes, I guess we can call him a pilot 'hole. He sure thinks he's a stud, but I bet he needs a truss.

Should McCain become President, he wood chip away at the Constitution than his predecessor.

Someone needs to clamp down on all the punning here, before somebody gets hurt.

I think McCain's been pretty well nailed down here.

I think 'some' people want us knot to pun any fir-ther.

First pun on 4. Y'all are getter better!

Erm. That was just a typo.

We know the drill. We can either pound sander socket up. But in my opinion, puns like these should be band--saw a case of this get out of hand--saw many men die--cast a pall.

Seems pretty concrete to me: every post has punned mightily, and I like how they've dovetailed nicely. I think it all hinges on the topic -- the wrong topic, and the jig is up. No one has cribbed any puns, and no one has been pinned beneath the onslaught. Most importantly, no one has rabbeted on and on. I know you all are nuts about puns, so I must bolt before you can catch me.

When McCain hit his head on the plane, I bet you he cried out "Oh, the pine! The pine!"

William Shatner looks out the window. McCain pushes his nose up against the glass.

"There's a man on the wing," Shatner shouts.

McCain jumps off and bumps his head on the tail fin.

Oak-ay, I cone't do this anymore. It's just not fir to the others.

The backlash is going to be severe. Some inexperienced people are going to try chiseling in, and the slightest mistake and we'll need a mortisian.

It's getting simply untenonable in here...

But we lacquer for nothing...

... and was it not here many months ago that McCain's unvarnished reputation was stained for all to see?

... or wood he have painted it all as just a pigment of my imagination?

Debbie @ 34: "And who would he choose to chair the Joint Chiefs? He'd better not screw up."

Oh, I'm sure he'll knock something together. I'd bet he's got a couple pegged down already.

Quitting the field, when the run has been so productive goes against the grain, and a ripping good time is being had by all, so perhaps a little tolerance is in order.

I'll be glued to the screen, looking to see what gets knocked together.

Greg London @ 53

So William Shatner is McCain's wingman? I'm not happy with the way he's beating the drumsticks of war. He seems to be buffaloed by the idea of diplomacy. I know he's not a poultry-oon, he doesn't need to prove he's not chicken. I don't know about his background, though, is he of good breading?

Just keep those wooden puns phloem.

Y'awl are too funny. Yesterday eave things had only gotten going a little bit! I can only buttress the following tangent with the excuse that someone already mentioned Shatner. Here he is.

Fir crying out loud, do yew think these puns are funny? I know this might not be a poplar point, but I'm pining for the days when people wood teak comment threads seriously, instead of making an ash of punning on planes.

Simon, the people here are just being hyperbolic. Pay them no mind.

Simon, we're just razzing 'Cain.

(Ooh, good one with your 'planes')

With all the wood puns, we could even build a bridge of words. Or are you all punning for the fords?

Some of these puns are so bad they're mortice-fying.

Oh, I don't know. I think everyone should take a bough.

I wish people like McCain didn't wear their patriotism on their sliver.

Everyone's being so clever that I feel like a block-head. (Why, yes, that is a chip on my shoulder.)

Serge: Well stone the crows, that's a sharp comment, and plumb whets my appetite for more.

Mary Aileen, that sounds like a problem you should tackle, just try not to pully any muscles.

Terry Karney (74): Thanks for trying to lift my spirits.

You are all biased against McCain, just because he's a square. I'm plumb tired of it. You should try to keep your spirit level; it would take this discussion board to a new dimension. Mark my words. I don't think you have the sand.

rm @ 76... There's no problem with McCain being a square. It all depends on what yew rafter.

Props to all.

I see no one has gotten board yet.

Ginger @ 79... I guess that should have us feel re-joist.

I would have added more puns, but my tenon span has been elsewhere. I guess this is the sort of thing that wood happen to me when I have interruptions throughout the dado.

I think we've gotten down to the nuts and bolts. Or the brass tacks.

P J, you nailed it. I for one bolted from the conversation early, because you're all nuts. I probably would have screwed up anyway. But as I told my friend Brad, washer gonna do?

What would you router have us do?

I for one have been totally enrasptured by the clever word-plane hereabouts. But I'm getting a little peckish, so please excuse me while I go en-joiner a biscuit...

All these wooden puns have been making me rasp.

I'd dearly love to say I saw this coming ....

...but you had to cut it short.

I don't know if I've been topped
or cut off at the knees.

Well, we can table this for later...

So is the Politico still on board the McCain bandsaw wagon, or is actual journalism coming out of the woodwork there?

I mitre saw this coming. I'm not coping very well.

Don't worry, Alan, it'll alb e OK.

You mean it's awl right now?

All these woodworking puns do not auger well for the balance of the campaign--or this thread . . .

rea @ 95... these woodworking puns do not auger well

Why must people make such unproven planket statements?

Serge @ 96: Because they all have a chip on their shoulders.

Ginger... Some of us need a cut & a shaving.

Should the forest now beat the last?

(Great puns! Much more fun than my shark image on the Open Thread.)

When a tree falls in a forest and there's no one around, does it make a sound? Even if it's just a bark?

It seems the jig is up, and we'll all be routed.

Presumably it was flying unusually low.

Like this plane?. A little more context, with Max X snark here

I shall brace myself over here at the Moose Operating Division of the Lumber Cartel (TINLC) and point out that at least the inline adze were appropriate.

Cadbury.

You're awl master craftsmen (and women) with these puns. It is plane that Walnuts is going to be dismembered come November.

[Spam from 85.110.107.191]

There at 105... is that spam?

Please, folks, if you see spam, say "spam" in your name line. "Some kind of canned meat" isn't one of the phrases I search on when I search the last 1,000 posts for heads-up messages.