What the hell are they smoking down in Texas? Their House of Representatives has approved a bill that would allow state education officials to prohibit school cheerleaders, drill and dance teams, and theater troupes from using steps, cheers or movements that might be considered overly sexual.

Translation: grassroots-level choreography has undergone major changes over the last several decades. The center of gravity has dropped, and movement is a lot more body-conscious. About a decade and a half after everybody else noticed it, this change has come to the attention of various Texans who'd rather spend their time talking about sex than attending to real public business.

This bill was the brain child of Rep. Al Edwards, who believes that raunchy cheerleading promotes teen pregnancy, bad grades, criminality, and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. It met with an enthusiastic reception:

“I felt in my heart that this bill was the right thing to pursue,” said Representative Tommy Merritt, a Republican from Longview whose wife is a former member of the Kilgore Rangerettes, the celebrated women's drill team from Kilgore College in East Texas. The Rangerettes, who dress conservatively in white cowboy hats and boots and red, white and blue outfits, were held up as a proper example by the bill's supporters in debate that preceded its approval, 65 to 56, on Monday.

The preceding paragraph is from the New York Times' story. I don't know who fact-checked that piece, but they fell down on the job. Check out the Kilgore Rangerettes.** That's not “conservative.” It's just an earlier generation's version of “suggestive.”

Crotch-baring high kicks may have become enshrined in tradition, but they're not a bit less raunchy than the more modern bumps and shimmies. The only real difference is that in their youth, the legislators' wives weren't out on Texas playing fields doing shimmies and grinds and hiphop moves. An excessively suggestive cheerleading routine is one performed by somebody else's daughter.

The really croggling hypocrisy here is the idea that until these alien moves started osmosing into American youth culture, cheerleading was untainted by sex. GIVE ME A FLIPPIN' BREAK! Are these people brain-damaged? Did they not go to high school? Cheerleaders are a major erotic fetish, for Americans at least, and everybody knows it.

The best summary of the whole American high school cheerleader thing is the routine at the beginning of Bring It On:

I'm sexy! I'm cute! I'm popular to boot!
I'm bitchin! Great hair! The boys all love to stare!
I'm wanted, I'm hot, I'm everything you're not!
I'm pretty, I'm cool, I dominate the school!
Who am I? Just guess! Guys wanna touch my chest!
I'm rockin', I smile, and many think I'm vile.
I'm flyin', I jump, you can look, but don't you hump. Whoo!
I'm major! I roar! I swear I'm not a whore!
We cheer and we lead! We act like we're on speed!
Hate us 'cause we're beautiful, but we don't like you either!
We're cheerleaders! We are cheerleaders!

Besides, this is Texas we're talking about, the home of modern cheerleading. It's the only state I know of where you can, with a straight face, talk about cheerleading as an industry. It's also the home of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Gosh. Let's see if we can figure out where the youth of Texas might have gotten the idea that cheerleading has something to do with sex. And while we're asking questions: who knew that Texans were so upset and alienated by the cheerleaders for one of their own teams? I'd never have guessed those crowds in the stadium during home games all came in from other states.

Sanctimonious prats.

(Hey, don't look at me. The Knicks City Dancers wear clothes. They've even got a youth auxiliary. If you want semi-nude jiggle at halftime, stick with the Bible Belt.)

Reactions to the bill have been predictable. The ACLU has observed that lewd acts are already prohibited at schools. They've been ignored. In fact, I may be missing it, but it looks to me like coverage that earlier mentioned that point has since been rewritten. Maybe I'm just tired. Let me know.

The cheerleading industry has been very sensible:

Eric Howze, owner and director of the Southwest Cheer Academy, which conducts private cheerleading classes near Houston, said the measure was “completely ridiculous.”

“What's defined as lewd by one person is skill, talent and hard work to another,” Mr. Howze said. “We're from Texas, which is obviously a very Christian-based state and something I support, but why do we want the government doing something that parents are already doing?”

Indeed.

The hyperconservative nutbars of the Texas Eagle Forum are of course in favor of it, saying “We feel this is a bill that empowers parents, that provides moms and dads with some additional support.” Which is pure canting hogwash, since it's nearly impossible for someone to wind up on the cheerleading squad if they don't already have considerable parental support behind them; and also because no one's ever going to try to force Texas schoolchildren to perform lewd cheerleading acts in defiance of their parents' wishes.

Empowering parents to resist evil cheer routines is a non-solution to a nonexistent problem. If passed, what the bill will actually do is empower random busybodies to object to performances by their local high school's drill team or dance troupe. If the observer has a sufficiently filthy mind, which many of these Defender of Public Morality types do, it's nearly impossible to come up with choreography that doesn't look sexual. Real dance is going to disappear from the public schools.

Coming next year: How to cheer in a chadoor.

http://www.theinternetparty.org/commentary/c_s.php?section_type=com&td=20011112

The bill passed on a 65-56 vote. It still must be approved by the state Senate.

One critic questioned the legislation’s priorities. “How is this bill advancing the agenda of the people?” asked the Democratic representative Senfronia Thompson.

Roll call!

concerned that high school cheerleading is becoming too raunchy, has approved a bill that would allow state education officials to prohibit “overtly sexually suggestive” cheering and drill team routines.
Enlarge This Image
Associated Press

A routine at the championship of the National Cheerleaders Association, whose assessment of the bill's effect is a cautious one.

“I felt in my heart that this bill was the right thing to pursue,” said Representative Tommy Merritt, a Republican from Longview whose wife is a former member of the Kilgore Rangerettes, the celebrated women's drill team from Kilgore College in East Texas. The Rangerettes, who dress conservatively in white cowboy hats and boots and red, white and blue outfits, were held up as a proper example by the bill's supporters in debate that preceded its approval, 65 to 56, on Monday.

The legislation, sponsored by Representative Al Edwards, a Houston Democrat and ordained minister who once proposed a measure to amputate the fingers of drug dealers, now goes to the Senate, where it lacks a sponsor. It also lacks some of its original teeth; a provision that would have allowed a cut in state financing to schools that permit racy routines was removed.

Still, some were relieved that the House approved the bill.

“High school cheerleading was starting to emulate popular culture, if you call popular culture the scantily clad Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders,” said Cathie Adams, president of the conservative Texas Eagle Forum. “We feel this is a bill that empowers parents, that provides moms and dads with some additional support.”

Others, including some who make their living in the state's vibrant cheerleading industry, are withholding their hurrahs. Eric Howze, owner and director of the Southwest Cheer Academy, which conducts private cheerleading classes near Houston, said the measure was “completely ridiculous.”

“What's defined as lewd by one person is skill, talent and hard work to another,” Mr. Howze said. “We're from Texas, which is obviously a very Christian-based state and something I support, but why do we want the government doing something that parents are already doing?”

Supporters of the bill, however, argued that something had to be done to prevent student cheerleaders from mimicking the provocative dances seen on MTV, the routines of some professional sports teams' cheering squads and suggestive performances in cheerleading movies like “Bring It On” and its sequel, “Bring It On Again.”

Just what would be defined as too suggestive under the bill remains vague, though. The measure leaves that to the Texas Education Agency, where a spokeswoman, Debbie Graves Ratcliffe, said the agency would be empowered to write a letter to a school district to request a review on whether a routine was unacceptably racy. Ms. Ratcliffe declined further comment, citing a policy that bars the agency from publicly discussing details of pending legislation.

Among those groups that are careful in their assessment of the bill's effect is the National Cheerleaders Association, a company based in Dallas that conducts cheerleading camps and competitions around the country. The association was founded in 1948 by Lawrence Herkimer, the cheerleader from Southern Methodist University credited with creating the pompom, the spirit stick and the Herkie jump: the leap - done with right fist in the air, left hand on hip, left leg thrust forward - that is a cheer bedrock.

“We think, as a company, that age-appropriate clothing and choreography are always necessary,” said Karen Halterman, vice president for marketing at the association.

“We believe it's a very small minority of cheerleaders, not the 98 percent who do things right, that are being noticed at the suggestive level,” Ms. Halterman said. “We've already been looking into this thing, since our focus has been not just on technical skills but on grooming tomorrow's leaders.”

Maureen Balleza contributed reporting for this article.

NFL cheerleader links
http://ca.dir.yahoo.com/Recreation/Sports/Football__American_/Leagues/National_Football_League__NFL_/Cheerleaders/

Laker Girls major shot
http://www.nba.com/lakers/images/laker_girls0001_lg.jpg

Laker Girls webpage
http://www.nba.com/lakers/dance/200203_lakergirls.html

LGs dance routine in white satin
http://www.thijsadriaans.nl/pictures/weblog/040105_lakers/mini-CRW_8195_RJ.jpg

charger girls
http://www.chargers.com/chargergirls/

charger girls gangup
http://www.photosport.com/cheer/dancesquads/pro07.htm